oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
