somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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