i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
