with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
