I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
