next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
