i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
3 2 1 whiskey
Randomize
