My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
