the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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