i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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