i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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