So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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