Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
