In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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