Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
