Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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