she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You ate ashes out of my bong
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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