Your mouth is God's brothel.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
