thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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