It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
