she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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