he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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