She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
