she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
