Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
