I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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