I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
