We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
