so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
