K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
