What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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