Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
