So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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