After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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