Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
