Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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