so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
