is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
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