I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize