so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
