I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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