see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
