So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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