"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
