Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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