it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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