who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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