Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
