you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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