It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
