Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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