Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
