so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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