she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
