i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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