The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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