how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
