oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
