Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
