Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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