the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
