This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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