did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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