i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
