its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
