At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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