She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
