My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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